RSD Therapy

Finding Compassion in Your Emotions

Have you ever received a short message and immediately wondered, “Have I done something wrong?”

Someone’s tone changes.
A message goes unanswered.
You receive some feedback at work.
You make a mistake.
Someone seems disappointed with you.

And suddenly, you might feel a rush of shame, anxiety, sadness or anger. You might want to hide, withdraw, apologise, fix things immediately or replay the situation over and over in your mind.

Perhaps afterwards you find yourself thinking:

What have I done wrong?

Do they not like me anymore?

Why did I react so strongly?

Why can’t I just let things go?

Logically, you may know that it might not mean anything. But emotionally, it can feel enormous. Your thoughts may start racing. Your chest may tighten. You might replay the conversation again and again, searching for what you did wrong. You may suddenly feel ashamed, rejected, angry, anxious or deeply hurt. And sometimes, the emotional pain can arrive so quickly that there is very little space between the event and the reaction.

This is something many people with ADHD describe as Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). Whatever words you use to describe it, the experience can feel very real and very painful. And you don’t have to navigate it on your own.

You may not be “too sensitive”

One of the most painful parts of rejection sensitivity can be the way you judge yourself for having the reaction

You may think:

“Why am I reacting like this?”

“I should be able to handle criticism.”

“Why do I always take things so personally?”

“Maybe there is something wrong with me.”

But experiencing emotions intensely does not mean that you are weak, dramatic or difficult. For some people, the emotional response can feel immediate and overwhelming. It can also lead to withdrawing, people-pleasing, perfectionism, overthinking or avoiding situations where rejection might be possible.

Over time, this can become exhausting.

You may spend a lot of time trying to work out what other people are thinking, looking for signs that someone is unhappy with you, or trying to make sure you don’t disappoint anyone. You may also find yourself being incredibly hard on yourself. You might even reject yourself before someone else has the chance to.

How RSD can affect everyday life

Rejection sensitivity can show up in many different areas of life.

Relationships

You may worry that your partner is upset with you because their tone has changed.

You may find yourself looking for reassurance or worrying about being abandoned.

You might withdraw when you feel hurt, even when what you really want is connection.

Work

Feedback can feel like a judgement of your ability rather than simply information about your work.

You may avoid asking questions because you are afraid of looking incapable.

You might work extremely hard to avoid making mistakes or being criticised.

Friendships

A cancelled plan or unanswered message may trigger thoughts that someone no longer wants you around.

You may analyse conversations afterwards, wondering whether you said something wrong.

Self-esteem

Repeated experiences of feeling different, misunderstood or criticised can gradually affect the way you see yourself.

You may become a perfectionist because mistakes feel emotionally unsafe.

Or you may stop trying because failure feels too painful.

RSD Therapy: A Place to Understand Yourself

My approach to RSD therapy isn’t about telling you that you’re overreacting.

If something hurts, it hurts. Instead, therapy can help us gently explore what happens for you when you feel rejected.

We might look at the thoughts that appear, the feelings in your body, the urge to withdraw or fix things, and the way you speak to yourself afterwards.

We can explore where some of these patterns may have come from and whether they are still helping you now.

Most importantly, you don’t need to have everything worked out before you come to therapy. You can simply bring what you’re experiencing.

We can make sense of it together. Together, we can explore the thoughts, emotions and patterns that appear when you experience criticism, rejection or uncertainty.

You can begin to notice the difference between:

“I feel rejected”

and

“I have been rejected.”

Those two experiences can feel identical in the moment, but they are not always the same. Therapy can help you create a little more space between the emotional reaction and the story your mind creates around it.

Learning to Be Kinder to Yourself

One of the things I often notice when people struggle with rejection sensitivity is that the original hurt can quickly be followed by self-criticism. You feel rejected — and then you criticise yourself for feeling rejected. You become upset — and then tell yourself you shouldn’t be upset. You make a mistake — and suddenly the mistake becomes evidence that you’re not good enough.

Instead of: “I’m ridiculous for feeling this way.”

You might learn to say: “Something has triggered me, and I need a moment.”

Instead of: “They must be angry with me.”

You can begin to consider: “I don’t know what they are thinking. There may be another explanation.”

Instead of immediately withdrawing, apologising or reacting, you can learn to pause. These changes may seem small, but over time they can create a very different relationship with your emotions.

Therapy can offer an opportunity to begin changing that relationship with yourself. Not by pretending that difficult feelings aren’t there. Not by forcing yourself to think positively. But by learning to meet yourself with a little more understanding.

You can care deeply about other people without losing yourself in what they think of you.

You can make mistakes without deciding that you are a failure.

And you can experience someone’s disappointment without it meaning that you are unworthy of love or belonging.

You don’t have to become less sensitive

Therapy isn’t about turning you into someone who doesn’t care. Your sensitivity may be an important part of who you are. The aim is not to make you feel less. It is to help your feelings become more manageable, so that they don’t have to control your relationships, decisions or sense of self.

You can learn to recognise your triggers, understand your emotional responses, challenge unhelpful assumptions and develop healthier ways of responding.

Most importantly, you can learn that experiencing strong emotions does not make you a problem that needs fixing.

A gentle, human approach to RSD therapy

I believe therapy works best when you feel genuinely heard, respected and understood. You don’t have to arrive with the right words. You don’t have to know exactly what is happening. And you don’t have to have everything figured out before you begin.

Therapy can be a place to slow down, make sense of what you are experiencing and begin to understand yourself with greater compassion.

If rejection, criticism or the fear of getting things wrong has been taking up too much space in your life, you don’t have to work through it alone. I offer a warm, compassionate and non-judgemental space where we can explore what is happening for you at your own pace.

There isn’t a right way to be in therapy. There is simply your experience.

Ready to explore what you’re experiencing?

If RSD, rejection sensitivity or ADHD-related emotional difficulties are affecting your confidence, relationships or everyday life, I offer a supportive space to explore what is happening beneath the surface.

You don’t need to change who you are. You can learn to understand yourself with more kindness.

Get in touch to find out more.